Friday, June 11, 2004

A FASHION STATEMENT WITH A DIFFERENCE

Or...welcome to "Super"  'Natural'  BC...where different folks with different spokes hang out!

Are things getting slightly out of hand in the Queendom of Quippery? Has everyone gone completely bonkers? What is happening in heartland of political-correctness and prosaic propriety??

Well, it’s amazing what a few environmentally-friendly, bawdy-conscious bikers will do to have some fun...and get on the front page of newspapers around the world. Quite frankly, "Bike to Work Week" will never be the same after these titillating, topless, tenderfoots parade in front of the British Columbia Legislature on June 12th!

Over the next few weeks, a dozen such critical mass events will be held around the globe involving a whole host of ripsnorting rubber rompers for peace and personal development.

Organizers of this first-ever, bear-your-booty bicycle festival say that the “Naked Bike Ride” is designed to “protest oil dependency and celebrate the power and individuality of our bodies”. This inclusive, holistic event welcomes diverse pedal-pushing practitioners such as uninhibited unicyclists, temperate tandem riders, and tawdry tricyclers who wish to share the open-road experience with like-minded folks.

Civic officials indicated that this initiative underlines Victoria's commitment to healthy community values and offers a creative way to keep the homeless happy and engaged in the rich cultural life of this city.

Federal political candidates, (who are used to exercising on jolly-jumpers), say it's now time to explore alternative energy sources such as calorie-burning pedal power to reduce the negative impact of our stick-in-the-mud attitude, fast-food diet, and armchair-focused lifestyle on the already overburdended public health-care system.

The trade and tourism sector has also latched on to this tempting tidbit of street entertainment. The emerging "nature in the raw", adventure-tourism market represents an untapped thong-less consumer segment who are keen to get their hands on those brand-named sneakers, SP-45 sunscreen, micro-filtered/hyper-oxygenated glacier water, and some really comfortable bike seats, if you please.

The only fly in the ointment appears to be a disgruntled group from the local chapter of the Monarchist League of Manners, a noisy gas guzzling coalition of car dealerships and fuel station operators, plus a small number of bareback activists representing the Lady Godiva Collective demanding the right to oranize a spiritually-uplifting equine event along Government Street to celebrate Canada Day.


__________

For more information, see www.worldnakedbikeride.org.

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