PITH & PIFFLE

Or, why did you write this brazen book on buffoonery anyway?

By Penelope Bonkles, a jaunty journalist and jest-in-time jitterbugger with an insatiable thirst for bubbly beverages and breathtaking bits of wonk that wiggle waggishly.

The following is a brief interview with Peter Poffleyend, (author of what has been called by many revered reviewers as undoubtedly “the worst-selling how-to book in North America” titled, “Pith & Piffle – All You Ever Need to Know About Something That You Had No Idea That You Ever Wanted In The First Place – Or How to Be Happy Without A Plan, Proceed Successfully In the Absence of A Process, or Arrive at A Destination That Bears No Resemblance to the Pretty Picture You Had In Mind In The First Place.”).

Q: What possessed you to write what some have termed a “nonsensical narrative”?

A: Well, I was walking along the beach one day minding my own business (and casually looking for fairy stones to give to a few of my far-out friends), when suddenly a seagull by the name of Jonathan flew fancifully over my head and let a load of guano go. That was a sure sign from the cosmos that I needed to bless the bird, freshen up, and kick-start my own kismet!

Q: And have you found your destiny yet?

A: Why yes, I’ve learned there’s no point in waiting for Godot or someone else to light a fire under your tail, or give you a map, compass and a GPS to find the proverbial Holy Grail. In fact, writing this book taught me a lot about life – that people will buy almost anything as long as the balderdash, bafflegab and bunkum comes nicely wrapped with a welcome back coupon entitling them to a 10% discount off their next purchase.

Q: What can readers expect to find between the pages of your pocketbook?

A: Well for starters, I point out where to find goofs, gadflies, and guffaw-lovers just like them. And if you need umpteen more reasons why to buy this practical pocketbook on “Pith & Piffle” here they are: (1) Why you need to walk the path of pomp and puckery! (2) How to build a brand new world full of ballyhoo, bamboozlement, and bombastic beating around the bush. (3) What constitutes a life of ludicrous leisure and lavish lollygagging? And lastly, when to enjoy yourself, because it’s never too late to wink!

Q: What advice would you give those seeking an avocation in the field of creative loafing?

A: Quit trying to fit into someone else’s box. Create your own sandbox, become King/Queen of your own Castle, and invite others over to play! If you want your life to be interesting and exiting – dare to be different…dare to be you and not a carbon copy of someone else! Just remember what Henry David Thoreau had to say: “I would rather sit on a pumpkin, and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion.” Besides, every new year brings 365 days of opportunity – so watch out for those seagulls!

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For those who can't get enough Orange Organics and pumpkin art -- the above carved cutie is courtesy of master-carver John Vickers of Victoria, B.C. So trot on over and take a gander at some great pumpkins at http://www.flickr.com/photos/quippingqueen/ and http://www.ltgov.bc.ca/whatsnew/mr/mr_oct01_2003.htm for more details.