Wednesday, January 11, 2006


Or, Stop Complaining & Find Ten Ways to Play!

By Victoria Elizabeth, a curious soul who ponders in vain about what to wear on St. Patrick's Day, why she doesn't like parsnips, and how she managed to grow up without having to spend any time on the "naughty stool".

When it's raining cats and dogs on your parade, remember every cloud has a silver lining quit complaining and find 10 ways to play!

1. Buy a fake flower or better yet a posh-looking pet plant (…then talk to it everyday, ‘cause it may grow on you; if it doesn’t, at least you’ve become a full-fledged flake or a merry member of the Chinwag & Chortle Club!)

2. Ask a toddler to sing a song, name their favorite food, and tell you how to catch a pink elephant; (…it’s a great way to lollygag about, reconnect with your inner child and, it might even give you a new perspective on what really matters!)

3. Ask your pharmacist, what brand and flavor of mental floss he/she would recommend? (…then be prepared for a few awkward answers, curious comments, pregnant pauses punctuated by the odd quizzical look or two!)

4. Write a note to your local MP and request he/she look into the burning issues of unregulated water pistol use by minors, poor quality Christmas crackers, not to mention the proliferation of ‘hot’ spots everywhere (…a picture of a pistol-packing pre-schooler, a poorly translated cracker joke, and a print ad for such dens of iniquity as cyber cafés to make your case).

5. Call into a radio talk show to complain about the unusually high-incidence of unidentified flying objects such as single socks, umbrellas (also known as ‘bumbershoots) and TV remote control units that have all disappeared from your end of the galaxy (and request directions to the nearest Museum of Missing Miscellany).

6. Email “Santa’s Anonymous” to inquire if they need any eccentric elves, sassy sleigh-bell ringers, or nifty North Pole greeters? (and sign it, “The Spunky Spirit of Serendipity”).

7. Enter a Tiddlywinks or Toe-Wrestling Tournament (…who knows what wunderkinds will show up just for the heck it exactly like you!)

8. Pen a little love limerick and mail it to your favorite funnybone on Valentine’s Day (…if that doesn’t work, try a hilarious haiku -- what have you got to lose?)

9. Visit a “Thrift Shop” and pick up the makings of an April Fools’ Day costume (…lighten up, use your imagination, after all what better way to celebrate going bonkers than wearing mismatched clothing, dreadlocks, and flippers!)

10. Look for “fairy stones” on a beach, (the ones with a ring around them), then invite someone to choose one and make a wish. (Don’t forget to smile; the world needs all the positive vibes it can get!)