Thursday, March 02, 2006


A Motivational Moment for Misguided Masters & Mutts

By Hugo Hotagen, DDD (Duke of Doorknobs & Doghouses), a loyal lapdog-in-training apprenticed to the affable, agnostic and all-round air-headed Court of the Quipping Queen.

A quirky, quizzical and sometimes questionable quotation or two in honor of the "Year of the Dog":

“Is your dog’s breath worse than his bite?” (Anonymous)

“As second reading speeches go, it was probably the most dog’s breath of a speech I ever heard.” (Remark made in New South Wales – Australia - Legislative Council Hansard Full Day Transcript, 3 June 1985).


Speaking of “dog’s breath”, there are some 13,600 web pages devoted to this topic.

The best place to find out more about the “hair of the dog” among other animal idioms and expressions is "The Dog Hause" at

The fact of the matter is that this year you’re far more likely to run into someone wearing a “Dog’s Breath Lounge & Poker Room” t-shirt than someone wearing the “cat’s pajamas”! On the other hand, beware of biffy-loving bar-stool beagles!

There are several brands of beer that sport such names as “Dog’s Breath Porter”, “Dog’s Breath Brown Ale”, and “Dog’s Breath Bitter” – “Ale with an attitude!” And, if you need a bit of mood music to go along with your hound-dog halitosis, you might want to listen to "Dog Breath" by Frank Zappa!

If you’re in the mood for puttering about or picking up some prehistoric paraphernalia, perhaps one of the best spots to find your heavenly heart’s desire is at “Dog’s Breath Antiques” in Saanichton, (on the outskirts of Victoria, British Columbia, Canada).

And last but not least, New Scientist magazine reported in its March 12, 2005 issue that an American food giant by the name of "Proctor & Gamble" has filed a patent (2004/47925) for a brand new bow-bow meal that offers pooches longer and healthier lives with the help of a magic ingredient called "garlic". Several grams of this grand gastronomic giddy-up-and-go-getter food additive will keep these hounds healthy for who knows how long. (No doubt the company will also be coming out with a mellifluous mutt mouthwash shortly, in case the dogs dig into too many garlic cloves at one sitting.)


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