A LITTLE STICKY-WICKEDNESS PLEASE

Or, all you ever wanted to know about the sticky-business

People of all ages and from all walks of life have always had a passing curiosity about "sticky" stuff. While "sticky" may be synonymous with fun, becoming "stuck" is certainly not!

According to Webster’s dictionary, “sticky” is a rather fine adjective meaning: 1) adhesive, viscous, gooey 2) clammy, humid, or muggy, 3) tending to cling, cleave or become closely attached 4) baffling, disagreeable, or unpleasant 5) awkward, stiff or mired in place 6) difficult, problematic or likely to result in an impasse.

For a short six-letter word -- “sticky” -- seems to cover a lot of ground not to mention perhaps a multitude of yucky circumstances if not miscellaneous mucky things.

So just exactly what is all this “sticky” stuff about anyway?

If you talk to a web-footed wunderkind, he’ll tell you that “sticky” has everything to do with measuring the ability of a website to keep the eyeballs of visitors glued long enough to sell them something they didn’t know existed, didn’t want or heaven forbid, couldn’t afford.

A printer will tell you why “sticky” labels take the guesswork out of wondering what’s in a bag, a box, or a bottle of hooch…but it can’t do much to improve the disposition of your best friend (unless you surreptitiously place an embarrassing cling-on-item upon his back when he’s looking out the window at the birds, bees or trees).

According to fitness fanatics, before the invention of the “sticky” mat, yoga was a pretty slippery proposition.

On the other hand, fashion folk are positively in love with sticky stuff like “Velcro” which makes closing one’s breeches, bloomers or briefs nothing but a cinch in a pinch.

For clutter queens, personal organizers, and interior decorators who thrive on cleaning up messy people and places, the infamous yellow “sticky notes” are an invaluable little tool to meet the needs of zany cube-farm dwellers like Owls, Rabbits, and Tiggers.

And if you’re in the surfactant and olechemicals product development business, you’re just glad that, “Priplast polyols in polyurethane adhesives create benefits like excellent adhesion, flexibility and resistance against hydrolysis and oxidation - parameters that can be tailored through polyol design”, now doesn’t that warm the cockles of your heart!

Since engineers rule the world, it’s not surprising they claim they’ve got a solution to everything including the best alternative to welds, nuts, rivets and bolts. It’s good to hear that the folks at Huntsman “don’t try to force-fit a product or technology into the wrong box”. Hmmm…just who designed the blessed box in the first place?

Oh, and where would the fast-food industry be without “sticky” coatings to ensure that their tasty toppings and consummate crumbs stay on any meat, fowl and fish that's battered, beaten and breaded beyond recognition?

Of course, if you're into gooey, there’s all to manner of fun stuff to play around with including sparkly body paint, Pooh’s honey-pot, or Alberta’s oil-rich tar sands.

And speaking of tacky travails -- what about those "uncomfortable" relationships that elicit “sweaty” moments miring everyone in far too many sticky-wickets full of (you guessed it) sticklers, stick-handlers and stick-in-the-muds, all of whom are keen to jump in the fray and gum up the works for good!

Last but not least, there’s one sure-fire sticky product that no handyman would dare leave home without -- Duct Tape -- the only thing that fixes fissures, fridges and furniture, not to mention the odd fool or two, in a spiffy jiffy!

So, next time someone enjoins you in a chinwag about “sticky-business”, you'll certainly have something trivial to add to the conversation besides the price of tea in Tuktoyuktuk.

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For those who are truly interested in learning more about "sticky business", all they have to do is log on to one of the 5,510 websites devoted to the topic.

Or they can sample a few like, "The Sticky Business of Paint" http://www.nomma.org/support/finishing/stickypaint.html or "The Sticky Business" label company http://www.stickybusiness.com or the folks at "Uniqema" http://www.uniqema.com/feature/feature11032.htm