FUNNY PHOBIAS -- AMAZING BUT TRUE!
So, you think you've heard them all?
By Charles Henry Clackavoid, a flexiloquent fysigunkus (or a man on a mission of muddleheadness mixed with a minute measure of mirth)
Fear is a pretty powerful motivator. I should know.
I'm deathly afraid of slimy slugs, snakes, and other creepy things that slither about without my knowledge or permission.
But, with help from a wonky word collector named E.G. Bird living in Nanaimo, British Columbia (and publisher of the "Grandiloquent Dictionary"), I now have a comprehensive list of more fears than I care to become acquainted with or choose to acknowledge without assistance from a humdinger headshrinker.
The following little list is by no means exhaustive. After all, I didn't get past those charming ones beginning with the letter "A". However, since most of you haven't got the time or the inclination to go on a wild goose chase, let alone research obscure yet positively breath-taking phobias, I thought I would give you a peek.
ALEKTOROPHOBIA - fear of chickens (I guess we won't see too many of these folk hanging out at KFC, Chicken Chef or the Swiss Chalet will we?)
AMATHOPHOBIA - fear of dust (which probably prevents some domestic divas from achieving stardom).
APEIROPHOBIA - fear of infinity (probably just as well, since there's far too much stuff floating aimlessly about in outer space with perhaps who knows what unintended consequences -- if one should accidentally wobble and bump into another less than accommodating foreign object).
ARACHIBUTYROPHOBIA - fear of peanut butter (...who knew that a few smashed nuts would have that effect on people?)
ATAXIOPHOBIA - a fear of disorder (that can only be relieved if you hire a happy-go-lucky harridan called "The Clutter Queen" by contacting firstname.lastname@example.org.
Now the only one I didn't come across was "ANGELOPHOBIA" - fear of flying nuns (the ones that don't like riding turbo-charged broomsticks or Harley bikes) and angels (a.k.a. featherless phantoms in your average basic black attire) with a marvellous moniker -- "Michael".
Now, before I forget, could you please buzz off and let me get back to my second favorite bedtime book, "Poplollies and Bellibones" (by Susan Kelz Sperling).
For those who absolutely insist on verifying facts, factoids, and factums -- please proceed to E.G. Bird's "Grandiloquent Dictionary" http://www.islandnet.com/~egbird/dict/dict.htm
No Fooling! ... some flummoxed folks run the other way when they see a clown, (and who wouldn't, most wear weird clothes and war-paint not to mention have huge feet, humungous ears, and one heck of a blinking red nose!) http://mentalhealth.articleinsider.com/74177_fear_of_clowns.html