WORLD BIRTHDAY SUIT APPRECIATION DAY
Or, why not celebrate a bit of birthday suit bravado?
By Ovid Publius Hadweenzic, Ph.D. (Professor of Happiness & Delight), whose easy-as-pie attitude to life makes him a shoe-in for Dean of Doodling at the Creative Loafing Institute, (dedicated to the long lost art of lingering, lollygagging or just hanging out in a lackadaisical or lounging manner in the company of oneself or other merry-minded folk)
At last count, there were 95,600 websites dedicated to "birthday suits".
Little is known about the origin of "birthday suits" or for that matter their devine designer.
The good news is that no two birthday suits are alike. The bad news is you can't exchange them. All of which brings me to a rivetting conclusion.
What the world needs now is a special day dedicated to honoring the humble birthday suit. After all it's the one which one enters the world with and is obliged to wear for life, whether we like it or not!
While body artists, Lady Godivas and naturists might have a field day with this event, it is likely that prim and proper politicians not to mention prudish pundits fearing a "brouhaha" would boycott this threadbare occasion.
Such an egads event however calls for few tittering taglines just to get things started:
It's never too late to make a birthday suit fashion statement!
If birthday suits come in all colors, shapes and sizes...I'd like stripes!
Double-breasted self-expression -- the key to a brand-name birthday suit!
I just want a birthday suit that doesn't shrink or wrinkle, is that too much to ask?
The naked truth is hard to hide behind if one's in a birthday suit!
Prudish painters know that birthday suits give fig leaves a reason for being.
I'm glad my blessed birthday suit comes drip-dry!
Look if the Great Creator didn't design those birthday suits then who did?
La belle province - Bienvenue aux costumes d'Adam et d'Eve!
It was definitely a cover-up, because birthday suits never go out of style!
L.A. - capital of cosmetically-enhanced birthday suits!
At 90, it's a relief to know that I'll never outgrow my birthday suit!
Are you sure this birthday suit doesn't have any buttons?
Canada - Home to Eager Beavers & 32,569,394 Below-Zero-Rated Birthday Suits!
No I'm sorry ma'am...we can't make alterations to your birthday suit while you wait.
Do bogies & brownies in birthday suits live in "SuperNatural B.C.?"
For Pete's sake...if you can't laugh...at least learn how to dance in your birthday suit!
Brazil - Where Bossa Nova Birthday Suits Play Naturally!
California - Home to Beach Boys, Big Bucks & Way Too Many Birthday Suits!
For those interested in celebrating "World Birthday Suit Appreciation Day"...pick a convenient sunny day, send invitations early, and wait to see who shows up for this day of delight to honor the skin we're in!