Saturday, December 02, 2006

ONLY IN NORTH AMERICA

Or, paradoxical places to visit in the heartland of stars, spangled banners, and snowshoes

By Ovid Publius Hadweenzic, PhD (a pretty hopeless dingbat) who occupies a place of honor in The Creative Loafing Institute as Dean of Dross & Drollery, and Occasional Chairperson of the Cheerful Chinwag & Chortle Department when the spirit moves him

North America, heartland of baubles and bling, glitter and glam, plus oodles of stars, spangled banners and way too many snowshoes, is also a hilarious hub of paradoxical places one can choose to settle down or simply set up shop.

A quirky quilt of posh if not sometimes peculiar place names exits to meet the needs of eclectic, eccentric, and entertaining folk looking for a place to plop.

Indeed, one does not have to look to far to find a delightful directory of dazzling places to visit. There’s a wonderfully wonky selection of titillating towns to choose from, (especially if one is into big screen personalities).
  • Archie (Louisiana)
  • Ben Franklin (Texas)
  • Ben Hur (Texas)
  • Ben Hur (Virginia)
  • Big Foot (Texas)
  • Big Ugly (West Virginia)
  • Buddha (Indiana)
  • Flintstone (Maryland)
  • George (Washington)
  • Homerville (Goergia)
  • King Arthur’s Court (Michigan)
  • King of Prussia (Pennsylvania)
  • Frankenstein (Missouri)
  • Napoleon (North Dakota)
  • Papa (Hawaii)
  • Pocahontas (Arkansas)
  • Romeo (Michigan)
  • Robinhood (Maine)
  • Ruff Starbuck (Washington)
  • Santa Claus (Indiana)
  • Santa Claus (Georgia)
  • Satan's Kingdom (Vermont)
  • Tarzan (Texas)
  • Tolstoy (South Dakota)
  • Uncle Sam (Louisiana)
  • Voltaire (North Dakota)

On the other hand, if one lives north of the 49th parallel, the scintillating show-stopper spots on the map truly leave a lot to be desired:

  • Bugaboos (British Columbia)
  • Cupids (in Newfoundland)
  • Disney Island (Ontario)
  • Disraeli (Quebec)
  • Druid (Saskatchewan)
  • Ebenezer (Prince Edward Island)
  • Hitchcock (Saskatchewan)
  • Mermaid (Prince Edward Island)
  • Mozart (Saskatchewan)
  • Nixon (Ontario)
  • Starbuck (Manitoba)
  • Sultan (Ontario)
  • Viking (Alberta)
  • Vulcan (Alberta)
  • Xena (Saskatchewan)