Saturday, December 02, 2006


Or, paradoxical places to visit in the heartland of stars, spangled banners, and snowshoes

By Ovid Publius Hadweenzic, PhD (a pretty hopeless dingbat) who occupies a place of honor in The Creative Loafing Institute as Dean of Dross & Drollery, and Occasional Chairperson of the Cheerful Chinwag & Chortle Department when the spirit moves him

North America, heartland of baubles and bling, glitter and glam, plus oodles of stars, spangled banners and way too many snowshoes, is also a hilarious hub of paradoxical places one can choose to settle down or simply set up shop.

A quirky quilt of posh if not sometimes peculiar place names exits to meet the needs of eclectic, eccentric, and entertaining folk looking for a place to plop.

Indeed, one does not have to look to far to find a delightful directory of dazzling places to visit. There’s a wonderfully wonky selection of titillating towns to choose from, (especially if one is into big screen personalities).
  • Archie (Louisiana)
  • Ben Franklin (Texas)
  • Ben Hur (Texas)
  • Ben Hur (Virginia)
  • Big Foot (Texas)
  • Big Ugly (West Virginia)
  • Buddha (Indiana)
  • Flintstone (Maryland)
  • George (Washington)
  • Homerville (Goergia)
  • King Arthur’s Court (Michigan)
  • King of Prussia (Pennsylvania)
  • Frankenstein (Missouri)
  • Napoleon (North Dakota)
  • Papa (Hawaii)
  • Pocahontas (Arkansas)
  • Romeo (Michigan)
  • Robinhood (Maine)
  • Ruff Starbuck (Washington)
  • Santa Claus (Indiana)
  • Santa Claus (Georgia)
  • Satan's Kingdom (Vermont)
  • Tarzan (Texas)
  • Tolstoy (South Dakota)
  • Uncle Sam (Louisiana)
  • Voltaire (North Dakota)

On the other hand, if one lives north of the 49th parallel, the scintillating show-stopper spots on the map truly leave a lot to be desired:

  • Bugaboos (British Columbia)
  • Cupids (in Newfoundland)
  • Disney Island (Ontario)
  • Disraeli (Quebec)
  • Druid (Saskatchewan)
  • Ebenezer (Prince Edward Island)
  • Hitchcock (Saskatchewan)
  • Mermaid (Prince Edward Island)
  • Mozart (Saskatchewan)
  • Nixon (Ontario)
  • Starbuck (Manitoba)
  • Sultan (Ontario)
  • Viking (Alberta)
  • Vulcan (Alberta)
  • Xena (Saskatchewan)