THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT

Or…exactly where are those blinking bats in the belfry?

While I was sitting quietly in my throne room this morning at my Palace on Dallas in beautiful downtown Victoria, British Columbia, Canada (a quaint, quirky colonial outpost right smack dab on the San Andreas fault line), my mind began to wander and ponder.

Of course when you’re waiting for “big things” to happen or, ...patiently standing on one foot for your ship to arrive at the bus station, or heaven forbid ...lollygagging about because Godot hasn’t turned up yet to give you a reason for being -- something odd is bound to happen. Don’t ask me why, it just does.

Which brings me to the random topic of “things that go bump in the night” (TTGBIT). Not being the quivering or querulous sort, I decided to inquire further into the wonderful world of TTGBIT.

However, when I typed www.things-that-go-bump-in-the-night.com into my web browser, I landed on something called “bravepages”. Expecting to meet Robin Hood, the Red Dwarf or maybe my favorite white-haired classic TV-Western film star, Hop-a-long Cassidy and his colleague “The Cisco Kid”, to my dismay I received a rather strange invitation to sign up for a free website -- not quite what I was expecting, -- but nevertheless an “awesome” experience, as the younger generation would say.

Ever the inquisitive type, I now have only 42,300 websites to wade through according to the folks at www.google.com/. What a perfect project for the “Empress of Everything” to undertake instead of the usual royal duties such as proffering pithyless proclamations, knighting every knave in the realm, or taking the wretched Corgis for a walk.

So, in case you’re wondering about some of the silly stuff that popped up under the category “things that go bump in the night”, here are a few:

· Aliens, witches, and other creatures lurking around every corner
· The worry zone
· An audio accessory available from bigfishstudio.com
· A ring tone for Nokia/Samsung mobile phones
· Misplaced watchdog timers and unexplained error codes
· A drinking story and other campfire delights
· Ominous looking weather
· Name of a badass chick net community
· Humorous historical romance novel
· Herds of children running through the house
· Name of a hard metal rock band
· Halloween spooky screen saver
· The reason behind a daily devotional
· A fantasy and science fiction convention – the key to three women’s destinies
· An American-made circa 1989 detective film/crime thriller
· A technology solution for an MS practitioner
· The subject of a Unitarian Church sermon
· Name of a children’s horror book
· A special lodging package including a Horse-Drawn Wagon ride
· A discount store news item featuring a crypt
· Strange sound made by a barbecue grill right outside a computer room window
· Name of a Paranormal Database Record, far more engaging than the proverbial “404” message
· The Vampire Support page
· A Tasmanian Forestry feature
· An exploration of Grey and Gothic literature (UBC)
· Noisy nooky-makers
· Name of a CD music sampler, better than “Ho-Hum”
· Contents of a Scottish Prayer “When the Whole Earth was Overrun with Ghosts”
· What “beast” (big thing) do you want to study or evaluate, and why?
· Raw sockets, Neohapsis and NTBugtraqs

BTW, if you want to more ...please do check out the remaining 42,269 web pages and email me at quippingqueen@yahoo.com with your fabulous finds!

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For those who want to know where to get the best gall darned "Night Vision Devices" and other gadgets ...check out http://www.backcountrytoys.com (And, don't forget to tell them how you got to their special store and why you're shopping there... so you can find all manner of gizmos to avoid "things that go bump in the night", naturally)!

And, for those of you interested in learning more about one of my favorite haunts, "The Centre for the Incredibly Bored" (a wonderful wonky spot that exists to provide all manner of useless diversions to keep one thoroughly occupied for the foreseeable future) visit "The Restless Mouse at http://www.therestlessmouse.com