Monday, January 31, 2005

THE MERITS OF MISCHIEVOUS MIND CANDY

Or, how to improve one's vapid vocabulary

In the fast-food, fast-track, and fast-lane of life, there’s precious little time for words any more which is bad news for slow-of-mind folk (like me).

I have no “to-do” list and I don’t own a “Blackberry”. Furthermore, I have no need for “power naps” and I don't do “power lunches” (unless I'm wearing my tiara, holding my sceptre and handing out titles to members of the realm who probably don't need them).

Alright, I must confess I do own a cell phone. But, I don’t know how to program the blessed thing with all my favorite telephone buddies. And, what makes matter worse, I haven’t got a clue about the hottest dating device known (to discerning men and women naturally) -- text-messaging.

So, how does one go about choosing mischievous mind candy (you know, the sweet, sticky stuff that tickles the imagination and adds a few more calories and carbohydrates to one's already hyperactive cerebellum)?

Well, take a word like “slob” for instance. It’s a short, four-letter word that covers a multitude of sins, (also a four-letter word that leaves the drawbridge down and the door wide open for interpretation).

Anyway, “slob” lacks shall we say colourful vibrations. In fact, one could say it probably leaves both the user and the recipient in an indubitably bleak state of mind followed closely behind by a complete loss of libido.

So how to bring a spark of interest back to a noun like “slob”? (Note: "Slob" should not be confused with another four-letter word, “slog” as in the verb 'to toil' like witches do, 'to labour' as rock stars do, or 'to work' like a dog …like the rest of us do.)

The answer lies perhaps in tossing the tasteless term into the trashcan, (now stop snivelling ...it's just for one day). Why not take another word out for for a test drive? After all, you've got lots to choose from.

In case there's no handy-dandy dictionary nearby, here's a luscious list of light-hearted love handles to use (besides "pig" or "hog" instead of "slob" to describe your boss, best friend, or long-lost relative Aunt “P”).

Abbey-Lubber, Afterling, Bawdstrot, Blob-Tale, Daggle-Tail, Draggletail, Dudman, Duffart, Dustman, Drassock, Drossell, Fishfag, Flather, Fleak, Fonkin, Fopdoodle, Gyrovague, Hoddypeak, Idle-Worm, Kedge-Belly, Looby, Mudlark, Mumper, Packpaunch, Palliard, Porknell, Pseudologer, Ragamuffin, Rigmutton-Rumpstall, Rudesby, Runcy, Srubbado, Slathertrash, Slattern, Slawterpooch, Sloven, Slop, Snollygoster, Spoops, Tantrel, Tatterdemalion, Tavern Fox, Toad-Eater, Tosspot, Walking Mort, Wallydraigle, Wallower, Whiffinger, Whiffling, Whipperginnie, Yaffling Yokel (and last but not least one of my favorite's), Xantippe.

Remember, mind-candy doesn’t come with any money-back guarantees – so you might want to use your new-fangled words with care, so as to avoid becoming addicted to them or being bopped over the head by someone with a bigger bumbershoot or a better dictionary than you!











2 Comments:

At 2:03 AM, Blogger Zheng junxai5 said...


zhengjx20160602
tiffany and co
michael kors outlet clearance
vans outlet
hollister clothing store
coach outlet store online
oakley sunglasses
longchamp le pliage
louis vuitton outlet stores
jordan 3 retro
louis vuitton outlet
christian louboutin outlet
louis vuitton purses
ray bans
jordan 6s
true religion jeans
celine outlet
louboutin shoes
ray ban wayfarer
air max
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet
oakley sunglasses
kate spade handbags
gucci outlet online
louis vuitton outlet online
true religion outlet store
coach outlet canada
ray ban sunglasses
louis vuitton handbags
gucci outlet
kate spade handbags
louis vuitton handbags
louis vuitton handbags
coach factory outlet online
nike trainers sale
louis vuitton
concords 11
replica rolex watches
christian louboutin sale
kobe shoes 11

 
At 6:53 PM, Blogger chenlina said...

chenlina20160620
jordan 11 concord
kate spade
louis vuitton handbags
air huarache
cheap jordans
oakley outlet
gucci handbags
oakley sunglasses
true religion jeans sale
pandora outlet
christian louboutin shoes
coach outlet
replica watches
coach outlet
jordan 6
ralph lauren
nfl jerseys wholesale
beats solo
adidas shoes
ray ban sunglasses
nike air max 90
christian louboutin outlet
michael kors purses
instyler max
jordan retro 3
nike sb
hollister clothing
longchamp outlet
ray ban sunglasses
cheap toms
toms shoes
coach outlet
true religion outlet
coach outlet online
toms outlet
michael kors outlet clearance
michael kors handbags
michael kors purses
nike outlet
oakley canada
as

 

Post a Comment

<< Home