ODD, OFFBEAT OR OUTRAGEOUS THINGS TO DO IN APRIL

Or, how to meet your weird and wacky needs

Compiled by the Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and edited by The Earl of Craboon, a lively lollygagging two-some in the Court of Quintessentially Quirky Quaffers & Quidnuncs

April is the month when fools rush in where wise men never go and angels fear to tread. (And frankly, anywhere wise men and angels hang out together would probably not satisfy the needs of a merry band of mischievous munchkins looking for a good time.)

So without further ado, here is the ludicrous lineup of odd, offbeat or outrageous things to keep you busy for all of April.

April: It's Sill Suds Month, (33 beer festivals to choose from around the globe, all you have to do is show up, tell a few jokes, and get yourself tiddly like all the other tipplers).

April 1: Hilarious Haberdashery, (time to pick out a great big fools cap, (because you’re going to wear in your little pinhead for the next 30 days).

April 6: Fun Friday, (time to blow bubbles in your bathtub and organize a chewing gum contest to see who can blow up the largest bubble without getting it stuck to a face).

April 8: Energizer Bunny Appreciation Day, (a fine occasion to honor the long-life battery that keeps your digital doodads from wimping out on you at an inopportune moment).

April 13-15: Annual Dolly Parade, (so slip on your wild Barbie and Ken togs or Beanie-Baby outfits, and join the fantastically funny folks in Pigeon Forge, TN).

April 20: Bring On The Bull! (wow, you can pay tribute to your Taurus friends and family members, the ones who’re boring and insensitive, not to mention materialistic if not a tad self-indulgent and stubborn. They have one positive quality, they can cook!

April 22: Earth Day, (time to check and see who makes the mud-pies, where’s the hot spot to watch mud-wrestling, and who does the best rendition of “Muddy Waters”.

April 25: Administrative Professional Day, (time to tie up a bureaucrat or “civil” servant in some fancy red duct tape and auction them off to anyone willing to take them).

April 30: Beltane Fire Festival, (you’ll need a kilt, a caber, and some fire-crackers to attend this Scottish celebration marking the beginning in spring; hopefully the Edinburgh Council won’t ban it like they have for the last few years!)