Saturday, December 30, 2006

HOW TO MAKE A NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION


Or, can you really complete these sentences?

By Theolonius McTavish, a gallant if not good-natured gladiator with a thistle in his tam who has difficulty swallowing haggis, doing the hokey-pokey, or sleeping in a hammock, (a trio of trivial tribulations with which one daring dude must contend).


Every year, millions of minions around the globe must prepare for the inevitable ritual of “New Year’s Resolutions”.

To aid those who cannot come up with anything that ressembles a reliable (on second thought ripsnorting) resolution, I am providing my own version below. (Note: select one item in parentheses).

This year I resolve to no longer obsess about my (frigging freckles, flat feet, or furrowed brow), my (receding hairline, expanding waistline, or kingsized keister), or my (fashionable faux-pas, frequent forages into the refrigerator, or far too many trips to the throne room/water-closet to count).

Because I am already really good at (finger-painting, snakes-and-ladders, or pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey), and (skating on thin ice, walking on water, or swimming with sharks) not to mention (burping, flatulating, or snoring), but only when absolutely necessary.

Sure, I ate a lot over the past month, but that’s okay, because I had a fabulous time (courting candy-canes, flirting over fruitcakes, or trifling with hot toddies) and (chewing the fat, draining the cup, or licking the bowl) with (Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, or I can’t recall…is this a trick question?).

After the holidays, I’ll simply get back on track by not (drinking like a fish, eating like a pig, or wolfing down food like there’s no tomorrow), and (passing on the punch bowl, swearing off sweets, or turning down those tantalizing treats), after I've practiced (hustling my bustle, jumping through hoops, or running around in little circles).

This year I am going to take more time to: (beat my breast, leap to conclusions, or pat myself on the back) and more time to (hug trees, pet rocks or watch paint dry).

My name is (The Big Kahuna, Queen Bee if you please, …or your favorite moniker), and this year I’m going to stay cool, eat well, and put the fun back in the “fundamentals” of life... so there!!

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3 Comments:

At 3:39 PM, Blogger Chris Bassoo said...

There are 3 hours and 16 minutes left for 2006, this year will never return for a "redo" and we will never be able to relive any moments in this year ever again and our actions and words will always stand...Every day , we have choices to do a multitude of things, we have the choice of walking on the sidewalk or running through traffic, it is our choice to hopefully walk on the sidewalk...so imagine making the decision to be happy and share that happiness with someone else???...now take that further, and imagine making one person feel cared for everyday...the concept for the Mansion of Ads is just that, many people coming together to be a part of something great...well we all are already a part of something great, and that is life, we all wake up with the same amount of time in our day and the same opportunity to touch another person's life and make a difference to that person...this time of year is usually a time of reflection and thought on what the new year will bring...and more important than what the new year will bring to me is what I have learned from this past year...I have learned that family is so very important and it is okay to be vulnerable, it is okay to feel sad and it is okay to say "I love you"...It is okay to admit that you need help and it is okay to enjoy your successes...since high school I have always said "live is short, live it good"...I have truly had an amazing time with my family over the past few weeks, I met cousins from Texas that I never met before (Sonja (Texas morning classes), Francesca (mute), and Melissa (snow slip girl), we had get togethers that we never would take the time to plan in the past, my goal this year is to make sure that all our family takes the time to be together and share in each others company, break bread and truly enjoy family as we should...Our parents had the right idea when we were young and that is why we turned out the way we did, so it is now our turn to take the torch and be the role models that we can be...so with that ramble, Christopher Bassoo, we want to with you and yours the very best, and blessed new years ever...let's make 2007 the best year ever in our lives, we have the power to make it that way...Welcome 2007!!!

 
At 10:16 AM, Blogger agrinaut1 said...

This year, I pledge to choose the more difficult action rather than the easier action. I resolve to not allow matters of public interest to be slaughtered on the altar of apathy. The silence of conspiracy will not prevail. I will not walk through life blind, hesitant and fearful. I will open my eyes and confront injustice and fear, for myself, for my family and for all people's.

no more chill, all grill.

 
At 10:47 AM, Blogger breakdown said...

This year my resolution is never promise something I cant deliver. Oh well thats the end of that resolution. Roll on next year
Dialaphone | Green Flag

 

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