Tuesday, January 02, 2007


Or, why are we celebrating that?

By Ovid Publius Hadweenzic, Professor of Piffle at the University of Utterly Useless Undertakings in Little Snoring (Norfolk) and Dean-of-Do-Nothing at the International Institute of Irregular Verbs & Dangling Modifers in Yonder Bognie

Google reports that there are a mere 239,000 web pages out of a possible 55 billion devoted to the incomplete phrase "2007 Year of".

Besides that astounding bit of bumpf to brighten one's day, perhaps another perusal of the pages will reveal something even more brilliant to boggle a breathtakingly bored mind.

For those whose brain cells are firing on all cylanders, 2007 is expected to rather remarkable, especially if you wish to join in the following year-long celebrations:

  • Year of the BluOnyx - yippee or yowsers that is if you really dig "mobile content servers"

  • Year of the Dolphin - of interest to playful Pisceans or those of piscatorial persuasions

  • Year of the Food Police - will the flab fighters be welcome in your neighborhood?

  • Year of the Goddess - gods will be riding in the backseat this year and don't you forget it!

  • Year of the iSlump - you mean to say that podcasting will go poof?

  • Year of the Night Sky - time to catch a falling star, put it in your pocket, and save it for a rainy day or join those wicked witches riding on broomsticks for some fun

  • Year of the Outdoors - for all those who love the call of nature, frosting rocks, and bogrolls

  • Year of the Red Pig - Chinese astrologers however can't guarantee pigs will fly or that piggybanks be full

  • Year of Women in Engineering - Another Aussie attempt to make women rule the world

  • Year of the Widget - a whoopee moment for digital doodads and domahickies

  • Year of Civil Unions - where Glee & Gaiety can finally hook up "downunder"

  • Year of the Surf Lifesaver - an Aussie lesson on why it's not wise to swim with sharks

  • Year of the Boar/Ding Hai - the long lost animal companion of Miss Piggy

  • Year of the Organized Home - a real boon for Clutter Queens & Ripsnorting Recyclers

  • Year of the Thin Films - that's great if you like stories with thin plot lines

  • Year of the Rumi - pondering pool and think tank enthusiasts will be overjoyed

  • Year of the Shawl - a pleasing piece particularly if you're a peek-a-boo person

  • Year of the Slappy - a pat on the back for all those gawky gamers no doubt

  • Year of the Truck - giddy-up-and-go gas-guzzlers please...take note!

If none of these turn your crank, it might be time to trade in your old jalopy, date a gadfly, consult a guru or another 365 days for a new lease on life.

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