TOP 10 WAYS TO APPRECIATE THE WRITING IN THIS BLOG

Or, why you should exercise your eyeballs at least once a day

By the Quipping Queen, a quirky quaffing quidnunc who enjoys whistling in the wind, sampling egg-nog and brandy flavored ice-cream with a rather large soup spoon, and munching on shortbread cookies before bedtime.

Many readers ask me what's so special about my blog that they should read it, let alone recommend it to others.

The short answer is, if you have to ask this uninspiring question -- perhaps counting sheep, humming rum-tiddly-pum, or waiting for Godot is more up your alley.

On the other hand, for those who can't wait to explore the unknown, here are the top ten ways to appreciate the writing in this blog.

1. With a good stiff drink in hand, (because it helps to put a busy mind at ease in order to keep track of the odd collection of characters who drop by the Court of the Quipping Queen).

2. With a pair of rose colored glasses (so as to provide a different perspective on the oddities of life, the wackiness of the universe, and everything else that happens serendipitously).

3. In solitude, preferably the ensconced in the confines of a posh powder room or a substantial throne room (one of the few places one can go these days for a bit of well-deserved privacy).

4. Attired in one's birthday suit (to appreciate the naked truth).

5. Well before the consumption of a large meal (so as to prevent belching all over the contents).

6. Preferably without the aid of an iPod, TV, or CD playing in the background (known to distract even the most conscientious bookworms).

7. Under extenuating circumstances, fully-attired readers may peruse the latest blog entry in the waiting room of their accountant, dentist, lawyer, physician, or veterinarian, (provided they share the contents with these professionals who may not have a funnybone or if they possess one, do not know how to tickle it).

8. On holidays, (instead of reading utterly boring Blackberry messages sent by one's churly children, crabby colleagues, or bleeping boss).

9. Without anything in one's lap, (be it an animal companion or a carnal one...neither of whom can understand why the absurd, odd, or weird side of life appeals to you more than they do).

10. After yoga or meditation, (after all one needs something scintillating to fill in the blanks of life, and a good deal less stressful than connecting the dots or crossing the t's and dotting the i's).

NOTE: For those who wretch at the thought of reading another word, please share your thoughtless remarks with your pet rock. For those who are mildly enamored of with the contents, please be advised that you may need another shot of something stronger to fall madly in love with the blog. And for those who are ecstatic, please refrain from tossing me a bouquet of flowers ...they wilt fast but, if you must, I'll let you know where you can courier me the very finest box of truffles.

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And before I sign off, I would like to thank the folks from Wordlab for recognizing on December 22, 2006 in their feature, 25,000 Mile Stones, the modest contribution made to their online wordboard forum by a mirthful maven monarch, not to mention Liz Strauss, a very successful blogger for her Blogger A Day Award.

It seems that there's one powerful potentate in the online world, (named "Bloggy Awards"), who enjoys judging the merits of the written word, and it seems he has lots to say about QQ's sister blog, Wordorium.